I’m sitting here. No, scratch that. Something is sitting here. There is a cat next to it. There is a view of hands typing on a keyboard. Yes, that might be a better way to describe it. There is a picture, being presented, and there is a view of it. A view of a laptop, a view of a television, a view of wooden walls. It all exists and is being seen. All that exists is some awareness of something.
I don’t need to be here for this to happen. I don’t need to exist for the words to be typed. The words are simply being created. Thoughts are arising. A pause happens. This ever flowing moment is being narrated. How is this happening without me? I don’t know the answer to that. But I know, it is true, it is happening, and it has been seen, without me seeing it. The view exists, the view is real, even without me.
I can’t unrecognize these words. I see the word ‘family’ and thoughts are presented. Real pictures are being shown and displayed that do not really exist, but are really seen. How can something be seen that is not real? Well that’s a stupid question because all that is needed is an imagination and anything can be seen. But this is different. The thoughts I see about ‘family’, a mother, a father, a sister, a wife, there was a time when these things did happen. Events did occur. It was perceived.
But when you break it down, and take a step back, the word ‘family’ doesn’t really mean anything. The letters line up in a certain order, and that’s it. It’s difficult, yet so simple, to see the word family without the connection of what family is to me. Family is just a pointer, which points to some idea, or something?
I guess viewing this reality without me is the same way. It’s a pattern I’ve really really REALLY ingrained into my head. And it’s hard to not see the pattern. But at the same time, it’s so simple. Just the awareness of the possibility that it’s a false pattern makes me feel funny. Then when I go deeper, it becomes real. It’s not necessary to follow that pattern any longer. The view is still here, everything still is, with or without who I think I am.
It’s hard to let go and I feel like I’m not ready, maybe this isn’t really true and it’s just some crazy idea. But it feels real and here it is happening again. In and out. I do not exist but existence is here. Existence is happening. I do not have a family because I do not exist. There are life forms, that are real people, and this body has been in the same location as them. This view has seen them and has done things with them. But they’re not ‘my family’ they are just thoughts of past moments. It’s a pattern. My mind is connecting the dots but the problem with that is that there really is only ONE DOT. Time is only now, and that is impossible to deny. And if time is only now, it is a constant flow, and everyone experiences this constant flow, with their own view.
But I shouldn’t try to connect one view to another view to another view. That’s stupid because only one view exists. What can be seen can only be seen now. And it’s real. And it’s happening, here it is.
Holy fucking shit.