What is This That We Experience?

Life. Reality. Just mere labels for this experience. Am I the only one who often wonders, “Just what the hell is going on here?!”

Look around, right now, where ever you may be. What the hell is all of this? I see a white wall, but what is a white wall? Where did it come from? Why is it here? I look in the mirror and see myself, but what am I? Why am I here? What is this experience that is allowing me to question what the experience is?

Bringing these questions forward makes me feel weird. I feel peculiar and out of place. Nothing makes sense. I am truly a stranger.

I feel I am stranger because I really am alone. I am the only life that I experience. I see through my eyes, and interpret all other senses with my brain. I don’t feel you, I don’t experience you and I don’t know what it’s like to be you. I only know for sure that I am here. I can experience this with you, to an extent, but can never truly share what it’s like to be me. I am the only one who is me.

Everything is here, so much stuff. So much chaos occurring every second of every day on our planet. And our location is only .00001% (guess) of the entire universe. All of this in such a tiny space, but it feels so big, so important. What the hell is going on??

We call it life. We are alive and share this experience. This experience is called life. But what is life? Life is life. Our words are circular, and they have to be. We need labels to define what it is, then use those same labels to redefine and enhance. We need to learn more, share more. We create more labels. But we can only explain by using words, and by giving this experience a definition. Therefore, our ability to explain this experience is completely dependent upon our understanding. In other words, it depends on our words. This creates a void because we can’t fully explain everything. It’s just words to explain words. We’re missing something.

Define the word run. It requires words. Define every single word used in the definition of run. It takes many more words. This continues on, language is a system built on itself. It has to be circular, words define words which define words, labels define labels, and so on. All it is is merely an explanation of an experience. So when we say this experience is called life, we are correct, it is life, but the full meaning or understanding of it can not be contained in just a word. We can keep talking about it and explaining it with many more words, but we will never fully comprehend it in this manner.

You can start with something simple, it doesn’t matter what, but you can go deep enough to the point where it becomes ambiguous. This is life. Life is ambiguous. Fucking magnets, how do they work?

Look around. Don’t apply any labels. Don’t give any interpretation, definitions, or meaning. Just observe. Wow. My brain finds it difficult at first because it needs to label everything. No, stop it. Stop typing, stop reading. Just walk around your house and stare in awe. Go outside, watch the breeze move the tree. Watch the strange creatures hurrying on the sidewalk. Watch them scurry into large boxes and fade into the distance. Distance? What is distance? *#$jfu `~ pwimx XX +=. Such strange symbols. I am here. This feels unfamiliar.

I have sat in this chair thousands of times. I do every single day. Yet, right now, it’s different. This is different than all of the other times I’ve done it. This is now, that was then. My brain is telling me this is the same, but it’s a trick. I am constantly fooled. How can I be deceived so easily? Every day is different, yet every day feels the same. Some days feel slightly different than others, but each day is different. Each hour is different, every single moment is independent. Here I am now. Wow.

We have to use language, we need something. It’s the best system we have right now. We explain, and talk talk talk. Good thing we learned how to talk, or else how the hell would we be communicating right now? Maybe we would have found another way, a method not based upon sounds and symbols. Other animals communicate by other means. Octopuses communicate by changing colors. Their entire bodies light up. What a strange way to say hi. But it’s no more bizarre than our way of communication, we just see ours as normal because we do it every day.

But sometimes we need to just shut up. Stop talking so much, it hurts my head. Stop thinking so much, it gives me a headache. I don’t care about this and that. Sometimes I need to just observe. I need to just watch and stare in awe. I need to understand without understanding. I need to define without defining. I need to be without being. I am here… right? Yes, here I am. But where am I?


  • Penneywize says:

    Dude; just save yourself the mental agony and pick up Rene Descartes’ Meditations on First Philosophy. This is pretty much right along the lines of a lot of what you said in this post. Except he wrote it in the 1600s. Good shit, must read.

  • givememyleg says:

    haha, yeah I’ve read some of Descartes’ stuff, not that though. I’ll have to check it out and stop mindfucking myself to death. 😉

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