Well, here it is,the first post on givememyleg.com. Don’t expect anything spectacular as I don’t intend to turn it into a big moment. However, I am excited to start writing, reading, learning, growing, sharing, giving, helping, seeing, doing and moving towards goals.
The past few years I’ve been pretty stagnant in many aspects of my life. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, socially and philosophically idle, it seems. I’m not poor, depressed, or lock myself in the house but the point is there is room to grow. These and other areas of my life need a jump and I’ve been without the cables. The worst part is I’ve been aware of what I need to do but have not been motivated enough to just do it. I’ve had many ideas that have came and gone, plans that were great and then written off as pipe dreams, over and over. I just don’t try, I’m not motivated.
The overall goal of this website is not to restore motivation into my life, it’s been absent as long as I can remember. It’s to create it. I’ve never really cared or was interested in anything enough to put forth 100% effort and just indulge. Looking back on my life, through my teens, high school, college and to the present day, it’s been a constant insinuation of failure. I have never been good at anything, or at least it feels like. I know there are many things in my life to be thankful for, which believe me I am, and in no way hate my life, I just know that there is something more I can achieve. I don’t have to settle.
This is easier said than done, of course. After 23 years of losing I hardly feel like I can win. That being said, something feels different.
There have been many small improvements in the past year and I feel like I am on to something. I really believe that in the past year I have learned more about myself, life in general and where I am heading than I have in the first 22. It’s been a slow evolutionary process, but it’s picking up speed. I just need to keep moving forward until the decline becomes so great that the momentum creates a force I can’t stop. I have the end in my mind.
So what is it? What do I need to keep running and pursuing for? What is my purpose, my desire, my motivation? It’s life. Life has always been here since I was born (duh moment) but instead of being present during this time, I’ve been elsewhere. Sometimes it really feels like someone else lived the first 20 years. But not anymore, I am in full control now. No excuses, no holding back, I am alive and now know that every moment matters.
There is a great mystery to life that I find so unbelievably intriguing that I will do anything it takes to help solve it. There are some big questions that no one will probably understand, but that shouldn’t be a reason to not care.
I feel like I’m being sucked into something big, something that I don’t quite understand yet, but that’s okay. I’m going along for the ride as far as it takes me.
I’ve found my motivation, and it’s ironic because it’s been here the whole time. The motivation for my life has been hiding literally right here, every single day. My motivation is my life. Life is an amazing thing and I’m going to start living.
Who woulda thunk? 😉